rather down post

Sorry but this is a rather depressing post but I just need to clear this out of my system.

As a nurse I strive to save lives and it is a fact of life that everyone dies someday.

It has been a very tough month- I have had three patients pass away (one on my watch, two after I had went home).

The most recent death has hit me harder than I expected. I can't speak much about the patient but what I can say is they developed aspiration pneumonia and had an acute exacerbation of CHF.

I have never heard someone speaking and their voice is gurgley and they sound like they are speaking under water because their lungs are literally drowning in excess fluids and aspirate (the family gave orders to let the patient continue eating despite failing a swallow-evaluation with recommendations for nothing by mouth- they felt it was a quality of life issue). Despite the best suctioning I could provide I wasn't able to handle it on my own.

I called respiratory therapy and had them suction the patient- you know what they suctioned out of the patient's lungs?

Not just fluid... but tuna fish which is what the patient had for dinner. Yes folks- the patient aspirated tuna fish into their lungs.

Anyway, after respiratory left the patient was back to sounding gurgley and having trouble breathing by the end of the shift. I sat with the patient holding their hand while the patient kept on mumbling "I am going to die", "I am scared" and mixing in prayers (this person has dementia and for them to recognize their impending death is humbling). The patient held my hand and didn't want me to let go. I felt terrible leaving the room but I had to check on my other patients. The patient eventually fell asleep (they had a lot of trouble sleeping earlier in the night and I was betting the patient was exhausted) and I kept on checking on them to make sure they were comfortably sleeping and still alive.

I knew the patient wouldn't last too much longer. Since this person wasn't on full comfort care measures I was able to provide more suctioning, a one time does of IV push lasix to hopefully get rid of some of that excess fluid, and some low doses of IV morphine to help with breathing & pain. If the patient had full comfort care measures I think I would have felt better about this whole situation.

I went home and the patient died later that day. I was happy to find out that in the morning the doctors talked with the family and the patient was placed on comfort care measures.

Still- having seen this person for seven days and didn't know the family or the patient that well I formed a bond.

I guess it is experiences like this that harden nurses for the future.

What I can say right now is that I am hurting inside and just writing this out brings tears to my eyes.

Royal Quickie

I am going to keep this entry short and sweet!

Probably everyone is going to be blogging about the Royal Wedding for the next few days...

I woke up at 0400 to begin watching the wedding and low and behold- the television was on the fritz! I had to wake up my fiancé (who was not too happy by the way) to fix the television! Soon enough I was watching the wedding!

I absolutely love the dresses the many of the attendees wore!

When the Queen stepped out all I could think was, "look how cute she is"! She looked very cute wearing her canary yellow outfit!

Queen Elizabeth's Dress:




Of course Kate Middleton's dress was fabulous!

Very stylish, traditional, and of course as everyone else noticed very quickly- a modern version of Grace Kelly's wedding dress when she married the Prince of Monaco!

If I had toned arms and an elongated waist like Kate I would leap to buy a similar dress for my own wedding!

Kate's Dress:




Hats were a very prominent feature of guest attire.

The worst hate I saw (which immediately caught my eye as she entered into Westminster Abbey) goes to Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. Her hate looks like a striking blue slug climbing up her forehead!

I couldn't find a side view photograph which would illustrate what I am talking about!




Now I am off to clean up my house a bit because my mother and father are driving up from Connecticut to see Craig and I!

Have a wonderful day all!

Dream Weddings

Since I became engaged I have given myself "permission" to dream big about weddings. Something that I have always done- since childhood in fact...but I have always kept my ideas to myself.

I have thought of many themes over the years here are a couple themes that I have come up with over the years and some ideas surrounding them!

One of the first themes I am going to share is one I came up with during my childhood. I started out wanting a colonial wedding. As I read the American Girls "Felicity" series I would dream about wearing beautiful frocks and dancing the night away in a blue ball gown like the protagonist Felicity. When the books I read began to mature a bit I began reading Jane Austen....


Ahh yes...Jane Austen...the writer of great fictional love stories.

1) Regency Era inspired wedding

Wedding Dress: Claire Pettibone- "Emma"


Wedding Dress: Claire Pettibone- "Queen Anne"



Venue:

Historical Inn or Mansion...in my ultimate dreams England.

Flowers:

Peonies and Roses



2) Preppy New England Wedding


Dress:

Oleg Cassini



Priscilla of Boston- "Maeve"


Jessica Fontaine- "Lalani"




Venue:

Seaside, Yacht or Country Club in MA

Colors:

Blue, Yellow, White

Pink and Green

Flowers:

Hydrangeas, Dahlias, Gerbera Daisy

Time for an update!

It has been quite a while since I have made a blog update! This past year has been a whirl wind of changes in my life some of which were great and not so great- c'est la vie non?

I haven't really figured out a direction for my blog...I follow so many wonderful and inspiring blogs and I am just too indecisive to really make a directional commitment!

My best friend is getting married in August at her childhood home in CT. It is going to be a tented wedding with citrus colors (Orange, Yellow, and Green). Initially my friend chose yellow to be the color of the bridesmaids dresses which I think would have been amazing personally- some of the other maids were none too thrilled about the selection so she settled on Orange which is great too! I vastly prefer those colors over green *no offense to the green lovers*!

She is letting us pick the style of our dresses as long as it fits within a certain range of orange hues- I have fallen in love with this dress:



This is Alfred Sung from The Dessy Group! It comes in firecracker & fiesta- color swatches coming soon in the mail for the bride to choose! I am so excited I hope I look good in the dress because it is gorgeous!


As for Mother's Day I am not sure what to get my mom! For the past few years I have given her garden oriented presents but this year I want to try something different. It has been a tough year for my family and despite everything my family has been going through they are ever marching forward!

I was thinking of getting her this necklace from Dogeared:



Sorry I don't have an image saved of the necklace. It is the "New Beginnings" necklace from Dogeared. I love their website and I have been wanting to order something for a while.


Finally- my love of shoes survives...here are the latest shoes I am loving right now!

Sperry Topsider's Anglefish Slip on Boat Shoe in Linen/FLoral:



Sperry Women's Palmdale Flats:




I am loving more shoes right now but I should save some for future posts!

With Love,

Chrissy

Puppies

You know what makes me happy?

Puppies.

Last night I began looking at photos of puppies online and eeesh! I have kitties though so I see no puppies in my future though- the future Mr. does not appreciate pups like I do.

Anyway-

I adore Martha Stewart and one of the cute things she has is a blog "written" by her pups Francesca and Sharky (her French bulldogs). Here is a photo of her pups from one of her blog entries:



Cute huh?

Speaking of Martha Stewart when I went to Home Depot today to buy some packing tape I saw her paint section and just had to bring home their color pamphlet! I am excited to paint our new house (or so I think so now)!

So...tonight Craig and I went out for Thai food with some of my friends and it was so good! I had basil fried rice which is one of my favorites- though I must admit it was really spicy tonight! The waitress (poor girl) was the only one working the floor and she was running around like a madwoman. Needless to say I was dying for water (all of our glasses were eventually empty). I am now EXTREMELY full and I feel like a pigger-chicker!

Enough blabbering for now

=D

I spent the last few days babysitting my nephew Jayden. He is so cute but such a handful! Besides babysitting I drove my sister's Dodge Hemi around for an afternoon- what a HUUGGGEE truck! I felt like I was climbing a tree when I was getting in it!

Craig signed the purchase & sale agreement last night so...yay! Hopefully it all pans out and we now have a home!

Last night I had an amazing dinner- Craig and I went out to Garden at the Cellar in Cambridge. I had a divine bowl of tomato soup and crispy grilled cheese. Craig and I also split a bowel of the amazing rosemary-truffle french fries! YUMMY! I love that place- the atmosphere is delightful!

Tonight-

Since Craig is at the Red Sox game with his father tonight I am at home on my own. I ordered Domino's Pizzas (enough for Craig later too with plenty left overs), cheesy bread and buffalo kickers! I managed to completely ruin my daily and most of my weekly point allowance for weight watchers. BUT- simply amazing! I mindlessly ended up chowing down on food while watching Pride & Prejudice.

"I love you- most ardently...please do me the of honor accepting my hand"
-Mr. Darcy

Neat little article

This article highlights some popular fictional characters and what their full names are! I love Shaggy (from Scooby Doo) and Barbie's names!

Shaggy's name is: Norville Rogers

Barbie: Barbara Millicent Roberts

Here is the link

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/wayoflife/06/13/mf.real.names.fictional.characters/index.html?hpt=C2